Over thirty years in a marriage which has been an emotional rollar coaster ride brought increasing confusion, loneliness, heart ache and a deep desire that someone could understand what my marriage consisted of behind the doors of our home.
“But he is a Christian!” too often echoed in my mind and my heart. The multitude of pleading prayers for God to show me where this problem was all my fault progressed into pleas for God to help my husband realize the errors of his ways…his sin. My growing impatience with his way of thinking and processing information and my questioning God for a reason why my husband would not ‘grow up’ became endless. My aging brought heightened intolerance for, and hurt by, my husband’s actions, lack of compassion and admitted turmoil in his mind which resulted in living with “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” with outbursts of anger and emotional distance.
“Seek and ye shall find…”. The Holy Spirit’s job is to lead us into all truth and He did that for me. In ways only God could have orchestrated, coupled with much reading with much prayer, I found peace—and disappointment—in realizing my husband has Asperger’s Syndrome. Disappointment? Yes, for with this understanding has come the realization that I must learn to cope: Because he will under no circumstances seek counsel I must learn what “coping” means for me.
With my understanding, and my meeting other wives with husbands who have Asperger’s Syndrome, I have a burden to bring information to other wives and families that will afford them understanding. I am now in the stage where I am trying to replace my intolerance with my husband with empathy as I learn how to better relate to, and deal with, a person with Asperger’s Syndrome.
The following is a good start for those who want to learn about Asperger’s and the web site has links to many good articles to enhance understanding.